WOW

Holy f*ck .. I mean .. wow .. some people really gotta get a life ... and no I'm not talking about ryan haha ... but I mean some people are so stupid .. they know how to make me angry and VERY annoyed... seriously .. this someone is invading others privacy with relationshps, invading personal space .. and OMG ARGH! make me angry. And I have a right to be angry.

Anyway just thought I would state that!!

People need to get a life and grow up and consentrate on their own life and family!! GOD!

Putting the pieces together

Ok, well I've been told that it would be a nice idea if I kept in touch so let's see what i have all been up to.
Well for starters, me and ryan got back together on Wednesday and I'm happier than ever. And as of right now, we are looking for another apartment because my sister doesnt get off my back. She's always saying you cant do this you cant do that blah blah blah so we ar lookin for somewhere else to live. And as soon as we get that figured out, I can FINALLY start looking for a job.... I just need to know where I'm gonna be living first since I cant drive and ya ... so thats that.
And right now I am sitting here all alone doing some laundry. Ryan went back to clinton until tomororw cuz he's gotta work and melissa and justin are now in Clinton doing .. i dont know what. So I'm bored and decided to write. But now I'm done.

Tattoo

This is such a great song for those trying to get over someone .. It's called Tattoo! :

Oh, oh, oh
No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you, I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have youI'll always have you)

[Bridge]
If I live every momen
tWon't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

[Chorus x2]
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

Playing games????

Why do guys like to play games with you??
First they make you cryy and let you go then the next day they ask you what's gonna happen.
Ryan meant a lot to me .. and I know I can move on .. but I choose not too. I really honostly dont know what to do .. the other day he told me FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER he never got any sleep cuz he was up thinking all night about "us" ... he said that now he knows he has changed for the worst and he thinks he can change back.
But I told him I didnt want to be hurt as his girlfriend or even as his friend .. so i told him not to talk to me unless he does change and can fully respect me for who I am ... that's what I deserve.
This all hurts me too much .. Maybe I'm trying to move on too fast ya know?? Maybe me being happy right now isn't for real .. maybe it's all an act. I DONT KNOW!

Need to let out a heartache

As alot of people know, me and ryan have split up on Friday and I am heartbroken .. I'm coming back to clinton today to talk to him ....
While I have been alone I wrote a poem letting out my feelings...
It's called You're My Dream Come True:

You touch my heart in so many ways,
It's you that my heart calls for everyday,
You're more than I could ask for,
You're my dream come true.

The smiles we shared together,
When I met you I knew you were the one,
Ever since then, there's no other place I would rather be
Being in your arms was so wonderful
Tears of missing you, i wish you could see.

PLease Ryan, come back to me when you have your month of space,
As you will begin to notice, you love me more than a friend,
And that our love is meant to be.

You mean the world to me,
Can't you see??
I hope you will see how much you mean to me.
I will always be here!