Concussion Exhaustion

It's a damn good thing that I never went to school on Friday. Instead, I was in Kamloops thinking that I was gonna have a good time. SO here's the story:
My sister was just about to dye my hair as we were standing in the bathroom and all I remember is her brushing my hair and my getting dizzier and dizzier. The next thing I know, I'm opening up my eyes lying on the bathroom floor with my head pressed up against justin's chest and seeing Ryan crying and me holding his hands. I was terrified. I started to shake and couldn't stop and I wasnt really breathing right. I heard my sister talking to someone giving out the address to her place and then my head falls again. Then I wake up in an ambualnce. When I was finally ok enough to hear people talk to me and me to talk back I finally figured out what was going on. Since I was puking for 5 hours that early morning I musnt had anything left of me. I bashed my head on the toilet in the bathrooom and I was lying unconsious on the floor. The doctors told me it was half because of tons of stress and half becuase of the flu. That was the most terrifying moment of my life. I don't really remember much of Friday including falling and hitting my head and with some random little things, it takes me a little while for it all to hit me.
And just to top it all off, I come back from the hospital, rest, and find shit written to me that stresses me out even more. I lost my best friend cuz she'd rather chose someone she knew for only 2 months over me who shes known for 3 and a half years. Lucky me just what I need to heal and feel better from everything thats already happened. Merry Christmas to me :(

12 Days Of Christmas

Mrs. Wadlegger I am mad at yoU!! I can't get 12 Days Of Christmas out of my head. So I chose to do it as one of my blogs so I can sing it whenever I want to hahaha. This song always makes me happy and it's fun to sing!!

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,

Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

What An Amazing Weekend

This weekend went so well. I had sooo sooo much fun. Me and Ryan are finally becoming better and finally starting to understand eachother a lot more than before. Fighting is the worst thing ever but it's true what they say, fighting makes you understand a person more and brings you closer together. But anyway, this weekend with him was just awesome! Friday he came and saw me and we rented Spiderman 3 which is a really really good movie. Saturday we went to his work christmas dinner/party thingy which also turned out to be fun. We all met up at the Lodge for a big dinner and then headed back to the Shapanskey's place to do the Secret Santa gifts and "party" lol. That night was awesome, got to meet some new people who turned out to be pretty sweet. And then on sunday we rented The Invisible which was a really confusing movie. And ummm, later that night, I went to go watch him play hockey. Ryan is a great goalie. No wonder why he has such great reflexes. And this morning Ryan gave me a ride to school and then headed back home in Kamloops. I never got to talk to him tonight cuz I guess he called here when I wasn't home and left a message for me not to call him cuz he is talking to his dad about his truck. I guess something else is wrong with it. Ryan likes his truck and I agree it's a nice little truck, but omg!! I'm sick of worrying if he will make it home or not since so many things go wrong with his truck. But I love him to death.

Todd ... I'm VERY ashamed! Naughty Naughty......

This blog should be humorous to some ... but to me, man it's embarrassing! Today, Nicole and I went over to Jon and Michelle's and hung out for a while. Todd, first, began poking me and pinching (yes) my boob. Now, that is not something you do in front of a 2 year old. But being Todd, he just didn't care. Anyway, umm well Chase (the 2 year old) was goofing around so I thought I would just bug him back and where does that get me??? Being SHIRTLESS that's where!!! Chase started pulling down my shirt and pulled my bra down just a little but enough to see *things* .. MY THINGS! I'm so ashamed of Todd of how he is being a "role model" towards those kids. And now Mackenzie, well I think she will grow up to be a lezbein cuz Todd is also teaching her how to grab my boobs. SHAME ON YOU TODD, SHAME ON YOU!!
* And no I am not mad at Todd, I also find this kinda funny ... but man. Thats just wrong! *

I hate where this is getting us :S

What have we become?? I HATE what being apart is doing to us. I HATE IT!
I hate having a boyfriend who has moved away. Well, yes, I love him and I am happy for him that he finally got away from this place, but what about me??? I am the one who got left behind and no one will EVER understand how I feel. Him being away and me being here is causing nothing but relationship issues! I guess no one will understand this becuase no body is in the same postion as I am in. The other day me and ryan of course got into another fight and he told me he didnt care about me anymore and doesnt have the same feelings for me as he used too! Talk about harsh. He later told me he didnt mean any of that, and he loves me, but being apart is distroying us! it literally is. That is why I am so darn excited to grad and make things better between us. I love him with all my heart and I know I have a future with him, and I dont want to lose that opportunity. I dont wanna lose him and I know for a fact he doesnt want to lose me either. But we are slipping and I dont know what to do!!
Anybody got an suggestions??? HELP ME!!

Love is straight P A I N !

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for youAnd I need you
like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...